Beauty Myth and the Cinderella Complex: Youth Beauty And Money - Is That All There Is?

She places her jaded heart in a small begging bowl and kneels before him. He dispenses his affection like loose change - amusing himself with her look of gratitude. For a fleeting moment they both pretend that an exchange of value has taken place. She remembers a time when he wanted her with passion. She remembers a time when they all did tricks for her. She remembers who she was and the power of seduction; the power of youth, a pretty face, sexuality and vitality. She dreamed dreams of all things possible. Of course the biggest dream of all echoes through her girl-child mind "I want to be a bride". She so vividly remembers her wedding day, it was all she ever wanted and often thinks of it as her 'princess day'.

Daddy called her Princess as he tucked her into bed at night. She believed she was his princess and never questioned his predictions of one day becoming a beautiful woman, falling madly in love and living happily ever after.

What a joke. What a great big fat lie. Was she really so deluded? Was it bad luck, bad judgment, bad choices or is the dream for only 'the others'. It probably never occurred to her that a Princess by definition must stay young and beautiful.

Cinderella probably started it all and it was reinforced over and over in books, movies, conversations and culture.

As a child she wondered about 'Him' and played dress-up games with her friends. They were all called Mrs. and prepared tea for when Mr. came home. They had bride dolls and baby dolls. They imagined and designed their future wedded bliss. He, was handsome, successful, rich and romantic.

Girls were not really expected to worry too much with things like education or finance. That was unless you were a 'Plain Jane'. No, boys don't like girls if they are too smart anyway. Beauty is the key - beauty is everything. Beauty is your ticket into 'happily ever after'.

Happily ever after always had me a bit baffled. Most girls seemed to be very comfortable with the story ending at happily ever after. It nagged at me a bit - well actually it worried me quite a lot. I kind of perceived it to be a little like death. It seemed to me that when you got married your story finished. If happily ever after was so wonderful then why didn't it become another story; an even better story?

Another thing that really confused me was that as a teenager we were all very obsessed with our looks and working our magic, but something seemed very, very strange. The married women in my town were anything but examples of happily ever after. I don't mean to be unkind, but these women really scared me. The men were neither princes nor charming.

(I wondered about the girl who kissed the frog who became the prince. A lot of warts I would expect and probably that's not too far from reality either.)

Well I don't know who had warts or who had what; I was just observing and wondering. I saw men who drank too much and yelled too loud. Women in thread bare dresses and grubby little kids hanging off them. Hair in plastic curlers and clothes pegs in mouths. Daytime soaps and talkback radio. I certainly knew nothing about 'all the riches in the land'. Enough to buy fags for the week and a punt on the pony's maybe, but no diamonds or mink coats which were the status symbols at the time.

Things have changed a little since then and women of today are at least questioning some of these issues. Thankfully, woman now are gaining education, good jobs and independent incomes. Many, are also finding they are quite capable of looking after children on their own rather than enduring abusive relationships. To hear women talk you would think that they really have analyzed and resolved their Cinderella conflicts, but have they?

Does intellect really root out those childhood expectations? Do we still believe that a woman must be beautiful to attract and keep a mate? How much of our happiness and security depends of our youth and sexuality?

Aren't successful, intelligent, middle aged women still secretly dreaming of 'Him'. One marriage, two marriage, three marriage, four!

Perhaps if Cindella Part 2 had ever been written we might have discovered that Cinderella did indeed live happily ever after. She might have passed through the natural stages of life with grace and charm. She may have surrendered the things of youth easily and naturally as she evolved into a complete and competent woman within her own right. Perhaps her prince's initial lust and fascination gave way to a deeper respect, friendship and trust that formed such a bond and deep genuine love, that they did indeed live happily ever after. Isn't it possible that her warmth, generosity, Realistic Sex Dolls wisdom, humour and true nature were of greater value as they both evolved?

I do believe that this could be a likely scenario. I certainly appreciate the appeal of youth, beauty and sensuality, but it is not my measure of human value. These things would probably gain my attention for about ten minutes. Now, I am not going to suggest that good looking people are dumb or vacuous, although this is often very stereotypical, it's not right either. Being good looking does not make a person stupid anymore than being plain makes someone more interesting. We also need to accept that being wealthy is not a measure of value as a human being. Money is good and can make life on many levels a little easier, but it doesn't make all wealthy men ideal husbands nor does it mean that lacking wealth makes a man an inferior partner.